Jeff – Page 26 – somewhat abstract

Felicity

Every now and then I have extremely vivid dreams that feel so real, I've been known to make a phone call afterwards to check on someone. I'm not usually superstitious, but I get freaked out once in a while. Anyway, I thought it might be amusing to write some of them down so we can see just how messed up my head is at night.

I'll begin with Felicity.

One night I woke up at about 4 or 5 AM, a cold sweat had soaked my pillow and I was arrested with abject terror of whatever might be lurking in the darkness on the other side of the bed sheets. The rational part of me knew already — some lazily strewn clothing, bedroom furniture, and our cats — but the part of me that had been terrified by hallucinations in my sleep was certain something more sinister awaited. The terror was reaffiremd by a hundred or more memories of being terrified in similar situations as a child.

I turned on the light. I knew it would wake Chrissy, but I needed to properly wake up and recover.

"What's wrong?" she yawned.

"A bad dream; a nightmare. That's all," I said.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said, "what was it about?"

Chrissy has learned to ask for details ever since the first occasion I had a nightmare while she was nearby. That had been in a lovely hotel in Reno around the first time I met her dad. It was a particularly vivid nightmare to the point I called my parents to quiz them about the quality of the electrical system in their house. However, we'll leave that piece of insanity for another time, back to Felicity.

"It was messed up," I said, "it was a CCTV screen showing my grandma's old bedroom, but decorated as it is now; as it was when we stayed there this summer. The CCTV camera seemed to be somewhere above the window, zoomed in on the top half of the bed, towards the headboard. There was a little girl lying there on the left of the bed. Maybe 6 or 8 years old? She wore pretty floral dress, mostly white with small pink roses or something and a some sort of ribbon as a belt, white socks that stopped an inch or so below the knee, and patent leather shoes with a shiny buckle. Her hair was long and light brown, mousy, maybe dirty blonde, something like that. I had the feeling she had blue eyes but they were closed the whole time. Her arms were by her side, I think, they could have been clutched at her waist. Maybe both. She was dead. It felt as though she was dead."

"That's fucked up," said Chrissy, making sure I was completely aware of what I already knew.

"Right? I don't know when, but at some point in the dream, it stopped being CCTV and we were there in the room. You were there, next to her, or someone that I felt was you; I don't recall seeing you. The weirdest thing is, I knew her name was Felicity. I didn't recognise her, I don't recall anyone in the dream saying it, but I knew."

I paused. Thinking about the completely strange but vivid dream and then said, "Who the fuck is Felicity?"

We both chatted a while, which turned into laughter as we quizzed one another, "Who the fuck is Felicity?" Eventually, I calmed down enough to drift back to sleep and dream of something less disturbing.

We still don't know who Felicity is¹ or why I would have dreamed of someone called Felicity at all. I have only ever known one Felicity in my life – a girl with whom I went to primary school. Memories of her would fit the right age range, but it didn't seem like her and I had not even had a conversation about her in over 20 years. For now and maybe hopefully always, this remains a creepy mystery, but just in case, I leave you with that burning question; who the fuck is Felicity?

perhaps was [↩]

This Week's Music

When I'm in the zone working I tend to like some music to listen to, but the radio stations aren't always playing what I want and auto-generated radio stations on Spotify or Pandora or some other service aren't varied enough for me. So, I build my own playlist on Spotify for each day. Because picking songs for a playlist can be time consuming if you just try to think of songs, I build the playlist by chaining them via the "Related Artists" tab for each song's artist. To start, I usually have a song or two leftover from the previous day, so I use the artists related to that song's artist. I pick a band or singer from the list and then choose one of their songs as the next in the playlist and then use their related artists to pick the next song and so on and so forth until I've built enough songs for the day. I usually avoid repeating an artist or song just to keep things eclectic and I don't always pick songs I know. This is a little more time consuming than just sticking on a radio station, but I think it's worth the effort. I get a varied range of music and artists while having some level of continuity between the songs.

Since I have a playlist for each day I've done this, I thought I'd share them here on my blog¹). I won't post my old ones, you can go to my Spotify profile for those, but here are the playlists for this week².

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

I also share these on Twitter each day, although they are subject to change during that day and the next as I tend to add more tracks if I work longer and remove them if I didn't get chance to listen to them that day (I carry them over to the next day's playlist as a starting point [↩]
I'm posting this on Friday, so don't be surprised if that playlist changes [↩]

Lessons from an ever changing career in software development

At the end of last year I came to a terrifying conclusion; it was time to look for a new job. I was terrified because I had not been through the process of proper job hunting in over 12 years and because, though I had a job, I knew I would not be happy if I stayed in it. I had worked in the same organisation for over a decade and though I had worked several different jobs and faced many challenges, this felt like the biggest (yes, even bigger than when I moved to the US).

The story of my career and this move is too long for this post¹, but after transitioning from university to a job, from Motorsport to automotive and now healthcare IT, and from the UK to the US, I have learned a few things along the way and I believe they are universal. Perhaps you feel something is wrong and you can't put your finger on it, or maybe you want to try something new but are frightened of what where that might lead; just knowing others go through similar emotions can be incredibly helpful, so I'm sharing what I've learned so far.

Look for opportunity
It seems strange and I certainly didn't get this for a long time, but you won't recognise an opportunity unless you are already looking for it. I look back on every major change I made in my life and can see how this was true for each and every one, whether it was going to university, farming Ostrich, or moving to the US.
Know what you want
In order for you to recognise that opportunity, you have to know what it looks like and more importantly, what it does not. List the things you want in a job and take note of the things you don't want. Don't just think about the technical side of things, be sure to consider the culture you'd like to work in too. This also helps in recognising when it is time for a change.
Learn the signs that it's time to change
Too often we can ignore the little things that indicate a bigger problem and pass them off as having a bad day or working with annoying people. In reality, these are often signs of a wider dissatisfaction that needs to be addressed. It's easy to ignore the little problems when you're enjoy what you do, but once the enjoyment is gone, those little problems get bigger. Has there been a cultural change within you or the organisation? Are you not getting things from your work that you used to? Take stock of your situation and work out what you do and don't want from your job then see if it matches. If it doesn't, work out what you need to do to fix it. Sometimes all you need to do is make some simple changes to the way you work, sometimes you'll need a whole new workplace, but recognising this before you start burning bridges is really important, for you and your colleagues.
Don't burn bridges
It is tempting when making a change (or in the throes of realising that you need to) to tell people what you really think of them or their job. Resist this urge. Unless you are truly coming from a well-intentioned place and you are certain that the other party is willing to hear what you have to say, it is best to keep it to yourself. Usually, it is best to keep it to yourself. I was once told to be nice to people you meet on your way up in your career because you never know who you'll need when you find yourself on the way back down. I didn't listen. I have one less bridge.
Don't be afraid to ask questions
Whether in an interview or just in your every day work, ask questions. If you don't know something and you want to know it, ask someone. I have learned this the hard way. Knowing when it's time to ask instead of continuing to blunder around in the dark is really important. You may feel like you're stupid or weak somehow for asking, but asking is far better than finding yourself in a job you hate or without a job because you spent too long not knowing what you were doing. Sometimes, this can even help avoid the need to change your job in the first place.
Know your own mind
Learn to recognise when fear is clouding your judgement. When we're afraid to try something, we're great at convincing ourselves that we're right to just not. For example, some people turned down the same opportunity I took when I ended up moving to the US because they "owned houses" or "had a family"². While compelling, these excuses aren't truly impassable obstacles like those who utter them would have us believe. A person who is content and doesn't want an opportunity is surely more likely to just say, "no", but those who are afraid will find excuses instead. If I had let my fear of the unknown take hold, I could have found a hundred reasons why I just couldn't move to the US (it was only for a month or so originally, anyway), but instead I identified what might make the move difficult and I addressed it.

While I've focused on career change here, many of these things apply to life in general. I hope that you find them useful. Perhaps you have some tips of your own. Please feel free to comment and share them with the rest of us.

perhaps another as I did just write it while prepping this one [↩]
As if I'm some mutant who just appeared one day, parentless and alone. Apparently, this phrase "have a family" only has true meaning if you're married with kids…please… [↩]

Git integration for all your PowerShells with Github for Windows

We use git for our source control at work. In fact, we use Github. I have GitHub for Windows (GfW) installed because it's one of the easiest ways to install git on a Windows desktop. As part of the installation, you get to choose how the git shell is provided; I selected PowerShell (PS). This works well. You can access the integrated console via a separate shortcut or by the ~ key when viewing a repository in GfW.

However, the git integration (provided by posh-git) isn't available in the standard PS console nor PS ISE¹. I use PS ISE a lot more these days as it gives me tabbed console windows and some cool features like auto-complete dropdowns², so I wanted git integration there too.

As I already have git and posh-git installed via GfW, I didn't want to install both separately again just to get this support, I wanted to use what was already there.

To do this, open your PS or PS ISE console (you'll need to do this for both as they have separate profiles) and enter:

notepad $profile

Then add the following lines and save:

# Load github shell and posh-git example profile
. (Resolve-Path "$env:LOCALAPPDATA\GitHub\shell.ps1")
. (Resolve-Path "$env:github_posh_git\profile.example.ps1")

To see the changes, you need to restart your console. If you're sure there'll be no nasty side-effects from running your profile twice in one session, you could also just enter:

. $profile

And there you have it, git support using the GitHub for Windows installation in all your PowerShell windows.

Integrated Scripting Environment [↩]
There are some caveats to using the ISE console tab over a regular PS console [↩]

Monster Trucks!

I went to see my first monster truck show this week with a couple of friends. It was at the Monroe County Fair in Monroe County, Michigan and it was tons of fun. Here are a few pictures.